Expectations #Nakedmoms

What I Expected When I Was Expecting (And what I learned to be true).  And also, the few pictures I have of my “expecting” belly(ies).

I expected to be able to:

1. Carry on with life as normal. No baby yet, right?

2. Look cute in maternity clothes and dress appropriately.

3. Labor gracefully and maintain dignity in front of beloved husband.

4. Nurse like it was the most natural thing in the world.

5. Be a mother, nothing more.

I now know:

1. Growing a human is incredibly exhausting on the already-grown human’s body. Every cell of your being goes into creating another life- and that is damn hard work! And did anyone ever tell you you’ll sleep through your entire first trimester? Or you will the first time. The second and third time you are forced to keep your eyelids propped open so you can keep the products of you first and second pregnancies alive.

2. It is hard (for me) to look cute in maternity clothes. I try, I most certainly do. But at some point all the stretchy elastic, spandex, and side shirring kind of makes me want to gag and give in to becoming nudist during gestation. Don’t worry. I went with plan B this time around and decided to be pregnant mostly in the summer. I’ll wear the minimal Moo Moo and avoid the stretchy suck tight stuff all together. By the time baby is ready to arrive it will be cold again and I can hibernate in the biggest of big hoodies and yoga pants this side of Texas.

3. “Laboring Gracefully” is a phrase my Dad might tease and taunt me with (HIS daughter? LABORING GEACEFULLY?!) but definitely not something I do. Hysterically- yes. Husband and I do much laughing while I’m in labor. Mostly me laughing in embarrassment and him laughing at me… Like the post epidural “hunny can you please heave my right leg up and over the bed pan so I can pee? Like scoot my cheek over a bit.” **laughing to the point of tears** Or the, “Dad, just grab Mom’s boob- just like that- like a cheeseburger- and nudge babies chin down to get a big ol’ bite!” – says nurse helping us learn to breast feed (it’s a team sport, people). All the while husband can’t keep a straight face as a medical professional just instructed him to grab my boob like it’s a cheeseburger and let his kid take a big bite. I. Die.

4. Along those same lines… Breastfeeding is hard work. It’s something Mom AND baby need to learn to do and is helped along greatly when your partner is fully involved. It hurts- my God does it hurt. And your boobs turn into triple D size, milk-leaking, boulders before resuming any sort of normalcy after birth. Your nipples might crack and bleed. You might need extra help fr nurses or doctors or consultants, all of which you never knew existed. But AFTER you make it through the difficult first few weeks- it BECOMES the most natural thing in the world.

5. I thought I would “become a mom” overnight. I.e. I just had a baby, NOW I’m a Mom. Alas this is not the way the world works. I’ve finally realized that every single moment of my entire life up until May children’s birth has “made me” a mom. Every moment. It’s not something that happened overnight and GUESS WHAT?! It’s definitely not all that I am. I am (shockingly, or so I thought at the time) STILL ME. ME! With hobbies and passions and goals and dreams.

I expected a different life when I was pregnant. I waited for the magical motherhood change- when EVERYTHING changes- to happen to me. Happen, happen! I thought. I’m ready! But my journey through motherhood has taught me that life is a continuation of moments and a compilation of experience. Nothing more. Nothing less. We do not “become” anything in a single moment as we do not lose the treasured history that forms the makings of who we are.

What did you expect when you were expecting? How did you feel about pictures of your pregnancy? Did you document the whole thing or shy away from the camera?

I’m trying harder this time to document my pregnancy regardless of how I think I look and how I feel. I know there will come a time when I DO so badly want to look back and be able to remember this special time through pictures. Even thought I don’t feel like I’m “glowing”, I know it will feel that way when I look back and I’ll be happy to see these pictures as memories that I can share with my kids for ever and ever.

The best part about this photo journal of pregnancy (for me anyway) is that Lilly is absolutely loving being involved. She loves knowing how big the baby is in regards to food and holds up the peach or lime or seed or whatever it is to her own belly to imagine how it fits in my belly. Her little smile lights up when I explain that she was that tiny once too. She is always shocked and awed about how small a baby starts out and already can’t wait until she can hold a watermelon up to my belly for our finally pictures! I’m not looking forward to that as much as she is 😉 but I’m glad she’s so involved and excited.

Want to read more about expectations? Check out the posts from the other fabulous #nakedmoms below:

Motherhood and Expectation by Laila at Only Laila

Motherhood As Told By Selfies by Thien-Kim at I’m Not The Nanny

Motherhood and Expectation by Vaneese at Mommy Works A Lot

Motherhood and Expectation by Jessica at A Parent In America

Motherhood and Expectations by Stephanie at When Crazy Meets Exhaustion

My Motherhood Journey In Photos by Joyce at Mommy Talk Show

Expecting Motherhood: The Pregnancy Principle by  Makeba at MelisaSource

Awestruck and Anticipation by Brandi at Mama Knows It All

#NakedMoms: Motherhood & Expectation by Heather at Diary of a First Time Mom

I Thought I’d Done It All by Summer at The Dirty Floor Diaries