S.O.S. {this Mom needs some sleep}

There’s a place in Russia, the worst orphanage you can imagine, combined with the filthiest dog kennel on the planet. Everyone needs help- the kids, the dogs, the whole nine yards. There’s crying and barking and sadness and it’s just horrible.  The “caretakers” are nasty frauds who don’t even care to put out food. Eventually they get arrested.

And then a hero swoops in and saves all (by way of “UP” balloons). He attaches a balloon to each animal and child and sends them down over good homes.

This is where Grace comes from. With a pink balloon. This is why Grace has “behavioral problems”. We’re told she will be like this forever.

THAT WAS MY DREAM LAST NIGHT  which I think is ultimately my overtired brain asking for help.

Grace. will. not. sleep.

She won’t sleep in my bed, she won’t sleep in my arms, she won’t sleep while she’s nursing.  She flails around and cries.  She arches her back. She rubs my cheek with one hand and holds onto my ear/neck/nose/forehead with the other- like a comfort thing, she needs to feel my skin. She pumps her legs up and down and beats her little fists against her hips (why does she do that all the time?!). If I snuggle her into me really tight, my body curled around her body, she’ll doze off for a few minutes but only until she starts kicking and flailing again. Not that I could sleep like that anyway, in some strange position, so close to my baby that if I were to fall asleep I really could smother her. I wish she slept in her own crib like Lilly did. I wish she slept through the night. I wish she was comfortable and calm. I wish I could sleep again. I wish I wasn’t so tired all day and short tempered.

Grace was premature. I get that. She has a few problems. She obviously needs more close bodily contact to feel safe and secure. That’s all fine. But she’s six months old (adjusted age would be about 4 months old). She has profound hearing loss and a helmet on blah, blah, blah. But she needs to learn to sleep. I need to teach her how to sleep. For everyone’s sake.

I didn’t realize until now how lucky we were with Lilly. She was an amazing sleeper and still is. Absolutely no issues there.

But now I feel stuck between a rock and hard place- my girls share a bedroom so “teaching” Grace to sleep would mean disrupting Lilly’s good sleep. But keeping Grace in my bedroom is going to cause me to jump off a cliff.

I’m asking for advice. What do you suggest as Mommies? What can I do? What should I try? Is there some other reason Grace turns into a banshee at night?

Things to consider-

• She’s exclusively breastfed, just starting a tiny bit of rice cereal but not really getting much yet.
• She has a relatively good daily routine- sleeping for two solid periods in the morning and afternoon or a short morning nap and long midday nap.
• We can’t really change anything about our daytime routine because we go to the doctor/hospital with Grace a few times a week and have therapies three times a week.
• She has a crib in my older daughters bedroom (Lilly is 2.5 years old and now sleeps in a regular bed) and a bassinet in our bedroom. She also has a pack and play in our bedroom that she could sleep in if she would actually sleep.

What should I do?? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.